In a previous column, I shared several negative side effects associated with bringing personal baggage to work. I described how even long-term top performers can stumble and fall when they’re unable to effectively manage their personal issues in the workplace.
I also elaborated on the domino effect these uncontrolled issues can have on the workplace culture, fellow team members, customers and the business.
In this column, let’s consider the other side of this situation.
When people bring their professional baggage home their personal lives are affected in real ways, too. The ripple effect can be felt far and wide by family and friends. The adverse effects of this situation can damage and even destroy marriages, alienate children and cause others to avoid these unhappy, frustrated, negative and often angry people altogether.
Perhaps you know a spouse, child or friend of someone who’s unable — or simply lacks the tools — to manage their professional life effectively.
Carrying an excessive amount of professional pressure can lead to a whole host of self-sabotaging behaviors that also affect one’s personal life. Excessive consumption of alcohol, prescription medication or illicit drugs are common in this situation. When an individual is unhappy at work they tend to not sleep well, stop exercising, they may eat poorly, not at all or overindulge and in general neglect their overall well-being.
As these factors pile up one on top of another and despair sets in, they may become visibly depressed and withdrawn. If unable or unwilling to get the assistance they need, the overwhelming and negative effects become an unavoidable consequence.
This doesn’t have to be the case, however.
Just as with personal challenges, professional challenges belong solely to the person experiencing them. They alone have the power to choose, or not, to effectively address the professional stressors they are dealing with.
Let me be clear. I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t talk to your loved ones and friends about the troubling and frustrating situations you face at work. In fact, trusted, caring and honest family and friends can prove invaluable in choosing to effectively cope with or address professional issues.
What I am suggesting — even urging — is that those who love you don’t deserve to bear the brunt of your frustrations and unhappiness on an ongoing basis.
If handled correctly, your home and personal life can offer a safe environment where you can take a welcome break from the stress, frustration and hardships you feel at work. It’s a profound and life-changing choice to leave your professional issues at the office and use your time with family and friends as a healthy “timeout” during which you can relax, refresh and recharge.
Realizing that life is not all about your work — that work is only a part of your life — will help you strike a successful life/work balance that leads to greater levels of happiness and success on and off the job.
When you go home, truly go home by leaving work where it belongs, at work. This mindset will serve you, and those around you, well.
In some cases, a different career path or another type of change is in order. Over the past 21 years as a coach and consultant, I’ve worked with many business owners and team members who were unfulfilled and unhappy in their professional reality. Their work simply didn’t align with their personal motivations, purpose, behaviors and competencies.
These very same people also felt trapped by fear of the unknown, finances and a host of other self-imposed limitations. With guidance, they overcame their limitations and went on to create professional lives they now enjoy.
Even with the help of family, friends and a qualified coach, there will be days that don’t go well and take you to the limits of being able to self-regulate your thoughts, actions, words and emotions effectively. Maintaining your balance in both your personal and professional life comes down to using self-awareness, self-regulation and new-found tools to rise above your issues.
You might think the personal and professional aspects of your life aren’t connected, but they are. In fact, they have profound effects on each other, and you want those effects to be positive, not negative. Choosing to leave your professional baggage at work, so you can truly enjoy your personal life constitutes a wise choice indeed.
If you find yourself struggling to be happy at work, at home or both, take the empowering step of seeking out a qualified coach who can help you understand your situation and how to make necessary changes.
